lots of thoughts

It's not that I don't have anything to blog about, it's just that I can't put enough thoughts together about one subject for it to make sense.

Things I'm thinking about?

lack of vision and abundance of pettiness...how when we forget that our lives are supposed to be part of a bigger picture, we get absolutely consumed with the false sense of self importance.

being present...can I really be in an experience wholeheartedly? without knitting or crocheting or jumping up to do laundry or playing a game on my phone or browsing a magazine? Last night I did it...my mind only wandered a little. But there was something really distracting me. I just really forced myself to put it out of my mind. Who am I kidding? It was someone I wanted to avoid, so I did just that.

computers and the life of a lonely mama...this one is really a big one right now. I can't even get my head around it all. I read a post here about how computers open up our lives. then I read another post here about how a mama who is NEVER alone can feel lonely and disconnected. This is obviously right where I am these days. And where I've been for quite a long time.

But like always, life is calling me to do something else right now. I want to be alone in my thoughts, but it's not to be today.