3 down

I finally finished another Christmas gift yesterday on the way home from church. (I love doing small projects while I am riding in the car. I feel like I'm being so productive!) Then I started and finished another yesterday afternoon. I chickened out and didn't do the wristers patten I was thinking of but did a simple scarf instead.

I started a hat last night. UGH!!! I realized that trying to do a hat (that will be 22" around) on 29" circular needles is just not going to work. While I really like the idea of being able to do it in the round, I think I will have to do it as a flat panel and then sew it up. I don't want to crochet it since I have NO idea how big this person's head really is and need the stretch that comes with knitting.

Enough craft talk? That's where my head is this morning. I have lots of "stuff" to do today and need to figure out what to do first. Now it's time to go wrestle my 2nd grader out of her warm bed and convince her that she really does love school.

Have a great day.

where did they come from?

I was awakened by Jack and Kelli this morning. They wake up between 6 and 6:30 every day. They play together in their room for quite a while if they don't hear anyone else up. I thought I would take advantage and get up to finish knitting a secret thing.

But Jack E saw snow out the window. He pulled open the blind and the two of them were on a mission. By 6:40 they were both dressed and Jack was in my room asking for help with his mittens. Then he was back asking where his boots were. Then back for help with the boots.

The snow is pretty, sure, but I was even less motivated to get out of bed knowing that there was 3 inches of snow on everything. But not my Colorado born babies! They were making snow angels by 7 o'clock this morning.

Which meant I was making hot cocoa and pancakes by 7:20.

Now we are getting the house ready for a brew party this afternoon. And since there won't be much playing outside, we really have to make sure the house is clean and ready to played in by all the little friends.

Off to pick up!

Your bladder is very near your eye...

That is one of my favorite lines from Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt and it describes me very well these days.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I've been trying to make better use of my time lately. And I've had more errands to tend to. So I've been here less. I have been really stressed about holidays too. I married into a family that goes over the moon for Christmas gifts every year. It seems that we have cut back every year, but with 8 people in a household, it is still a lot. I am busy crafting my way through holiday gifts and searching for means of help for our family. In the midst of all of that, I am trying to remember that this is a season to celebrate and give thanks for all that we already have. And trying to instill that in the kids as they see endless ads for the new toys on TV.

Why is it that at this season we suddenly forget the values that rule us the rest of the year? Maybe this is my personal battle.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of us. We have been blessed with plenty in our lives. I plan to take a moment and reflect on that.

I think I did it to myself

I'm feeling really overwhelmed this morning with what needs to be done this week. I have errands that are more important than the usual return a library book or pick up more milk.

And I have found myself obsessed with getting holiday gifts completed. I guess that's a good thing. Our budget for holiday shopping will be more minimal than ever before. In fact I'm hoping to get some help with the kids' stuff this year. And I typically start to think of holiday gifts around the second week of December. But I feel like all I want to do is work on my knitting and crocheting.

So I have a big pile of laundry that didn't get touched this weekend. I have places to be outside of my home. I feel really stressed. So I'm blogging. That makes lots of sense, huh? I'm going to the laundry room now.

bliss

I had about 10 minutes today of absolute peace. Kelli wasn't home from school yet (I drop off and the neighbor picks up) and Jack E was napping. It was beautiful.

proof texting

Maybe that's not quite accurate, since I tend to think of proof texting in a negative light. But I was thinking this morning that it's quite indicative of the modern church when women across the country and across generations think of themselves as Titus 2 women, when it's just a few verses.

Here's Titus 2:3-5 from The Message

Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior.

Those are great words. I don't disagree with them at all. But if you google "Titus 2" you will find entire groups based on these verses. As I read further in my Bible this morning I really like the next chapter of the book.

Titus 3:1-11

1-2Remind the people to respect the government and be law-abiding, always ready to lend a helping hand. No insults, no fights. God's people should be bighearted and courteous.
3-8It wasn't so long ago that we ourselves were stupid and stubborn, dupes of sin, ordered every which way by our glands, going around with a chip on our shoulder, hated and hating back. But when God, our kind and loving Savior God, stepped in, he saved us from all that. It was all his doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God's gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there's more life to come—an eternity of life! You can count on this.

8-11I want you to put your foot down. Take a firm stand on these matters so that those who have put their trust in God will concentrate on the essentials that are good for everyone. Stay away from mindless, pointless quarreling over genealogies and fine print in the law code. That gets you nowhere. Warn a quarrelsome person once or twice, but then be done with him. It's obvious that such a person is out of line, rebellious against God. By persisting in divisiveness he cuts himself off.

That is much broader. It's not just about women, it's about the church as a whole, people who call themselves followers of Jesus. Maybe my problem with the Titus 2 thing is for women who don't feel that staying home with their kids, homeschooling the kids, cooking all from scratch, sewing and knitting handmade gifts...well what if that's not something you feel good about? Are you less spiritual? Do you love God less? Is it OK that we feel sending our kids to public school links us to our community in a bigger way? And I LOVE to cook and bake, but what if a woman is just really not good at it? I have a few friends where the husband does the cooking. Is that bad? Then again, in those families the mom is working, so maybe that's the root of the evil there?

I'm probably opening myself up to tons of criticism for what I don't fully understand, but I really struggle with putting people of faith in a box based on a few verses in the Bible. What happens when we don't all fit into the same box?

resurfacing

I started posting on my kitchen blog again this week and thought I'd make an appearance here as well.

I started back to working a few nights a week this month and it is throwing me for a bit of a loop. Some days I feel fine a pretty functional, and others....not so much. I try to just keep plugging away at life no matter what. I had a big mommy meltdown last week that I am trying to avoid recreating. I got to meet up with an old friend last Saturday for a girls lunch. I don't know when the last time that kind of thing happened.

So I just wanted to say that I am still here and hanging in. I'll try to get back a little more often. Promise.

hmmmm

I don't even know what to title this post. Life has just been happening. I have been canning and freezing as much as I can. I have been knitting. I have been with my kids. I have been having really awful headaches, too. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon to deal with that.

Today I feel like all I can do is just try to muddle through the best I can. Honestly, the past few weeks have been about just getting through the day or the hour.

my day so far

-came downstairs to find that Jack E had been in my purse and has LOST my birth control pills. Not good

-maybe it's not so bad since I have cramps that make me want to lie in the fetal postition

-Aleena overslept so I drove her to school...she thought she was late and needed me to sign her in so I begrudgingly walked into the office in my t-shirt and shorts (and barefoot) only to be told that she still had 2 minutes

I'm thinking maybe I should go back to bed

up early

to get D out the door with coffee, breakfast and lunch. SInce the kids have a late start day today (for teachers' planning), I have a relaxed morning so

I finished my book! Now I just have to wait until next Thursday to start a new one.


BTW, for you Kathy, the book was Family Tree by Barbara Delinsky. My mom left it here last week when she was visiting.

the problem with reading...

...is that I want to do it all the time.

I remember a friend telling me a long time ago that she had to pace herself. She could only start a book on Thursdays and she had to wait a couple weeks between books. I thought that was really weird. Then she went on to say, that once she started reading, she was consumed. She did little else...like laundry or cooking or caring for the kids.

I now totally understand. I love to read. A lot. I would rather read than do just about anything. With knitting or crocheting, I get tired and need a break. I have a hard time just sitting and watching TV without knitting or crocheting or playing solitaire or eating. But reading? I could do it all day I think.

Read any good books lately?

Monday morning

This is my first Monday morning of unemployment. Honestly, I'm between jobs at the moment, but I do get to be a SAHM for this week and maybe next before I start going on interviews again and get back to work. It's so nice to be home this morning. We had an invitation to the park, but I just didn't want to go. I get to stay home for a while. Well, other than the errands I need to do before too much longer. So I am taking a sec to update my other blogs before I get to work around the house.

back to school

Today is the first day that I get to really enjoy this. The kids went back to school on Tuesday. But between a staggered start for the middle schoolers (6th grader Trey started on time while 7th grader Aleena had a 2 hour late start) and the elementary kids, Clay (4th) and Emma (2nd), having a half day and coming home at noon and then working my last day at that job yesterday, I have been running around all week.

It's nice to have a day home with just the 2 youngest kids. I almost don't know what to do with myself!!! lol I said ALMOST!

at least they get along

Me today at the grocery store....my kids were the ones yelling and playing and imagining and hanging out of their little car on the front of my cart. Most of the other patrons there were NOT with children, especially not with children as wild as mine.

But they were having a great time together. It was their first taste of freedom after the "big kids" all went to school. And even though they were CRAZY, it really didn't bother me a whole lot. I mean, after all, they were having a good time and not fighting or anything.

Maybe I'm just immune to the ruckus of them.

another trip to trauma

Last night I was waiting for Clay at his drum lesson when my cell phone rang. Aleena told me that Jack E had fallen off the trampoline. I told her to apply pressure. Everyone was really calm, especially Jack who wasn't even crying. I got Clay and headed home. A neighbor came by to check on it. She thought it looked pretty deep so I decided I would pick him up and head straight to after hours care.

I got to see my favorite trauma PA (it's a little alarming that I have one, don't you think?) and he was able to just glue Jack E's little cut. It's below the eyebrow right on his brow bone of his left eye. The cut is about a half inch long, horizontally. Jack was a total trouper during the whole thing. He literally said, "ow" twice I think while the PA cleaned the wound, assessed it and glued it back together.

This morning, he's pretty swollen, but doing just fine. I just had to scold him for trying to do cannon balls from the coffee table to the couch. The boy isn't even 3 and he's already had stitches once before! I think I see a lot of trips to the trauma PA in our future!

school supplies

Yesterday I got most of the kids' school supplies. I wimped out and went without them. It's just a lot easier that way. Plus, it's not like we get the cute folders or notebooks or anything. I'm all about the big plain multi-packs and 10¢ plain folders.

The kids were so excited to put their names on everything and get it all ready. They still have one more week before school. I'm realizing that this back to school time is causing me a lot of anxiety. Summer isn't even really done, but I haven't canned a single thing. We have really relied on that in the past, Will I get enough put up for winter? Tomatoes aren't even on at the farm yet so I know I still have time for that.

Then it seems like once school starts, it will be Halloween soon. Money for costumes. Then Christmas with it's excess and need for extra cash.

I am really trying to just enjoy the day at hand and not stress about the future too much. That's part of being present for me, I guess.

lots of thoughts

It's not that I don't have anything to blog about, it's just that I can't put enough thoughts together about one subject for it to make sense.

Things I'm thinking about?

lack of vision and abundance of pettiness...how when we forget that our lives are supposed to be part of a bigger picture, we get absolutely consumed with the false sense of self importance.

being present...can I really be in an experience wholeheartedly? without knitting or crocheting or jumping up to do laundry or playing a game on my phone or browsing a magazine? Last night I did it...my mind only wandered a little. But there was something really distracting me. I just really forced myself to put it out of my mind. Who am I kidding? It was someone I wanted to avoid, so I did just that.

computers and the life of a lonely mama...this one is really a big one right now. I can't even get my head around it all. I read a post here about how computers open up our lives. then I read another post here about how a mama who is NEVER alone can feel lonely and disconnected. This is obviously right where I am these days. And where I've been for quite a long time.

But like always, life is calling me to do something else right now. I want to be alone in my thoughts, but it's not to be today.

will it ever be clean?

Now that my little guy is creeping up on being 3, I am finding that I have a little more time to get some things done. It's really easy to just hang out online, but I am really trying to do more than that.

Last Saturday I spent a good chunk of the day cleaning up one neglected side of our family room. Yesterday I went into Jack and Kelli's room and moved nearly everything (but beds, the dresser and the desk) and reorganized all the toys. It looked great...for about an hour. *sigh* They did pick it back up before bed last night. I know I just need to spend that kind of time in all of the kids rooms and the basement, too.

I also spent time yesterday cleaning up the living room. That went from the room that barely ever saw any traffic to the room where the littles love to play little people and art and house and....It's never picked up anymore I swear. I know I will have a tidy house again someday. I am trying to find the happy medium between letting the kids live in their house and keeping it company ready all the time. I don't know how well I am doing.

the problem with baking...

...is eating. YUM! I'm loving baking more. Maybe too much. Then again, maybe if I just got more exercise then I wouldn't have to worry about it. Then again I like my sleep too much to give it up for movement.

hmmmmmm