Monday, March 14, 2011

Monday morning

It was nice to hear from my cyber friends after I posted last.  Ironic, too, that both of those friends are online only friends....I've never met them.  But they understood where I was coming from and could speak to that.

I am still dealing with feeling adequate.  I think that has to do with having 6 kids.  They all have such different needs.  And I'm only 1 mama.  I can only do so much.  I am in a crazy work schedule right now, too.  I should be doing my morning chores so I can sleep later.  I'll sleep later anyway, even if the chores go undone.  My kids would rather have a messy house and a sane mama than a tidy house and a miserable mama.  Besides, if we all take 10 minutes, the mess gets picked up quickly.

I've been knitting more, too.  That soothes my soul.  I have really enjoyed meeting with my knitting group.  It's so fun to talk about patterns and yarns.  There's a teen girl in our group that had 12 projects going last time we met.  We told her to finish stuff up.  She brought 10 things to show us!  But she had also started a couple of more, too.  I am still working on the sleeves of my sweater and really want to finish it up.  Soon.  I won't let myself start anything until it's DONE.

The weather over the weekend was really nice.  We are really flirting with spring here.  I love it.  Then again, it's Colorado so it's still possible to have a huge snowstorm.  My birthday is Wednesday and the forecast is to be in the 70's.  That is my bliss!

OK....I have to at least start this week's laundry by carrying it all downstairs.  That counts as my workout for the day!  =)

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

guilt

I don't have much time because I have stuff that needs to get done.  And this week my daily nap is essential so I have to squeeze the to do list into the morning.

I have been feeling the mom guilt so much these past couple of weeks.  The things I want to do, the things I should do, the things I haven't done.  It's so easy to get bogged down with all of that.  And that's where I am right now.  Bogged down, feeling guilty for not being good enough.  Then one of the kids says one of those things kids say and I feel even worse.  No, they probably don't think I am the meanest mom ever, they are just venting frustration.  But to a mama who is feeling like a lousy mom, those words go deep.